I spent this past week anxiously awaiting today's doctor visit. It has been several weeks since I had walked into Huntsman Cancer Hospital. (I'm sure David wishes he could say the same) and I was flooded with emotions. Flashes of Dave bald, frail, weak, hurting plagued my mind. Could it really be such a short time ago. Now David has just completed his 7th month of chemo. (28 chemo treatments post stem-cell transplant). We have 5 months left to go.
The greatest news of the day was that Dr. Tricot said that he believes that the cancer is in remission. He said that David's spleen was still enlarged which isn't preferable but her feels the next 5 months of chemo should help it to return to a normal state. Dr. Tricot also said that he feels confident that if we can complete the next 5 months of treatment that the cancer shouldn't come back.
I could believe my ears and made him repeat himself. I truly for the first time during the past year felt HOPE. Real hope. I think I have been faking hope to comfort myself and to placate everyone else around me. Each time my fear would wake up and overwhelm me, I would try to allow my faith to put it back to bed. But today I feel like I can truly allow myself to picture my future with my sweet husband by my side. I haven't dared to look into the future at all. It always seemed to turn up posibilities of me raising my kids without Dave and my kids growing up without thier dad. I feel full of hope, grattitude, and love today.
It has been a year now since Dave got sick. This past year has been game changing for our family. We have felt things more deeply, we have seen the love of family, friends, and neighbors around us and I have felt carried through it. Each time the burden became to heavy, My Savior picked me up through sweet whisperings, feelings of comfort, and the hands of His angels around me. David has been such a positive influence on our family. He has stayed remarkably happy and confident through this whole process. If we could could the number of shots, sicknesses, transplants, pills taken, dr. visits, it would be unbelievable. Our world changed so quickly. I am grateful for this trial in our lives. It has truly been a blessing. We are better for having experienced it. Although there is much evil in this world. There is oh so much beauty, and kindness, and charity. I don't know if I can ever thank everyone enough who has been supporting us through this time.
